Our Woman of the Week is Miho Ochiai Ealy, nominated as a priest’s wife, mother, choir director, and some-time chaplain. You see her here in her parish church and in front of the Orthodox church in Hakodate, Japan, where she grew up. We asked her to tell you about herself:
“I’m married to Fr. Gregory Ealy and have two girls, Nino (almost 5) and Mila (2). My profession is a hospital chaplain, but currently, I am busy chasing the little ones at home. We recently moved to Dayton, Ohio as my husband was assigned to be the parish priest at St. Paul the Apostle Orthodox Church. We have gone through many transitions this past 6 months, and now we’re trying to navigate a very challenging “stay-at-home” quarantine situation.
“I was born and raised in Hakodate, Japan. Hakodate is located in the southernmost part of the northern island called Hokkaido. Yes, it can get cold and has lots of snow in the winter. I have to mention a little about St. Nikolai of Japan and my parents’ story when it comes to my identity as an Orthodox Christian. Thanks to St. Nicholai and his successors, the Orthodox community in my hometown stayed intact, and the building has been recognized as a historical landmark. When my father was a high school student, a Japanese Orthodox priest was working as a social studies teacher at his school. The priest’s name was Fr. John Kuriyagawa. Fr. John’s family lived in Hakodate and was baptized by St. Nicholai of Japan. One day Fr. John asked my father and a few other students to help with yard work at church. My father peeked inside the church building and became so mesmerized by the beauty of the icons and iconostasis that he knew he wanted to be part of this beautiful place. He decided to become Orthodox at the age of 18. When my father met my mother, he liked her, but she wasn’t really sure. Fr. John encouraged my mother to consider marrying my father saying “Ochiai (my father’s surname) is not a bad guy. He’s actually interesting.” And, my mother thought “Hmmm, if Fr. John tells me he’s not bad, then maybe it’s not a bad idea to marry him.” Well, my parents listened to their priest’s advice and got married. Without church, without the priest, my life would not have started.
“I grew up as an Orthodox Christian in Japan where no one really knows what Orthodox Christianity is. Well, no one around me had any particular religious background. Almost all the time, I was the only Christian in my class. Throughout my childhood, I felt I was an anomaly. Was it my faith that made me feel like that? Maybe. I always knew I belonged somewhere else. My quest to find ‘somewhere else’ began when I graduated from high school. I decided to go to Canada. I was convinced that as long as there was an Orthodox community, I would be ok. I found an OCA parish in Ottawa. The parish, St. Nicholas/Annunciation cathedral was very welcoming to me. After three years in Canada, I returned to Japan to complete my undergraduate degree. While living in Japan, my quest for the place of belonging didn’t stop, and it felt right to move abroad (again!). This time I got accepted to the master’s program at Patriarch Athenagoras Orthodox Institute/Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California.
“During my time in California, my friendship with an Orthodox friend who lived in Chicago became more than friendship, and we decided to get married! My husband-to-be, Gregory Ealy was the choir director at Holy Trinity OCA cathedral in Chicago at the time. I moved to Chicago and transferred to Loyola University. In 2011, Gregory was ordained to the diaconate and became the choir director (as a full-time position) at St. Mary’s OCA cathedral in Minneapolis, so another move happened. During our time in Minneapolis, we welcomed two girls to our family.
“We thought we were set to stay in Minneapolis. We had many close friends, and the church community was literally our family. Well, God had a different plan for us. Last year, my husband received a phone call from our diocesan bishop and was asked to consider becoming a priest and be assigned to an OCA parish in Dayton, Ohio. After numerous discussions and much consideration, we decided to make the move to Dayton. So many moves! I guess that is just how it is. We’re finally feeling more at home in our new environment. My life has revolved around the church for the past 10 years. I sometimes wonder how this all happened. However, I just rely on the fact that I am ok as long as there is an Orthodox community in my life.” Axia!
You can learn more about Miho’s parish here: https://www.stpdayton.org/
#orthodoxchristian #orthodoxchristianity #priestwife #stnicolaiofjapan
Miho Ochiai Ealy, our Woman of the Week, has faced many transitions in the last few years. We asked her what she does to cope:
“We often talk about how hard transitions can be. A change of job is hard. Moving to a new place is hard. It takes time to adopt the new normal. Right now, I’m in that ‘transition.’ Up until October, we were living in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Our life was very much immersed in the life at St. Mary’s OCA cathedral (locals would call it a ‘village’). While my husband was an ordained deacon, his primary responsibility was to prepare liturgical music and lead the 60 or 70 people who were in the choir. He was busy with many services including funerals and weddings. I sang at most of those services. I’ve been in the choir since I was 8 years old. To be very honest, I don’t really know what else to do when I’m in church. Besides the choir, I was also involved in different parish committees. I also had a part-time job as a chaplain at a local hospital. I was able to work at least 15-20 hours a month while my husband looked after our small children.
“Our environment drastically changed recently as my husband, Fr. Gregory, was assigned as a priest to St. Paul the Apostle church in Dayton, Ohio. Needless to say, he now has different responsibilities as a parish priest than as he had as a choir director. I am still a choir singer, although I have now taken on the role of choir director, since the former choir director at St. Paul’s decided to retire from that position at the same time that he retired from his secular job. He deserves to enjoy his retirement without worrying about the choir. So I have now stepped into a very new role for me! In the past I occasionally directed when my husband was sick or traveling. As many would agree, Orthodox choir directing requires vast knowledge of liturgical tradition and much patience to work with people with all sorts of opinions and musical backgrounds. I never thought it would be my cup of tea! Even though I don’t feel fully equipped to direct the choir, I’m learning to fill the role. My advantage is that I can always ask my husband for music and advice.
My life continues to revolve around church. I always liked it, but I never thought I would be quite so involved in church life. My husband is now a priest. I don’t quite know how to comprehend this fact yet. I just try to do what’s right and helpful for my family and my new community.”
We asked our Woman of the Week, Miho Ochiai Ealy, about her morning routine:
“My morning usually starts at 7 am with the following activities, making coffee and nagging children to go to the bathroom and get dressed. Our two girls, Nino (turning 5) and Mila (2.5) are trying to be independent in their own ways. We all know the pandemic has brought so much stress to our lives. For me, it’s been a challenge to keep two young children active and have them understand why we cannot use playgrounds in the parks.
“Since life in quarantine life started, Fr. Gregory and I decided to live-stream services from our home. Seriously, what else can we do in this strange time? Most mornings, we hold a service from our home. At 8 am, we have a short morning prayer. Sometimes we hold another service at 9 am. On Tuesday after Thomas Sunday, we had a memorial service (Panikhida/Parastas) for deceased loved ones. On May 7th, we had a molieben (prayer service) for St. Alexis Toth of Wilkes-Barre and Minneapolis. On Fridays, we have Akathist services. The services from home have brought me some positive experiences. I was never very disciplined about praying at home consistently. Nowadays, I look forward to these morning prayers that are very warm and peaceful. I suppose suffering can bring something very positive. I treat this whole experience during the pandemic as a “podvig” (spiritual struggle). Of course, I cannot wait to have my normal life back. I just try to stay positive and must admit my recent morning routine has been somewhat enlightening.”
Thank you, Miho!